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In another life she would have fancied Karl! But even when her wounds had healed it was unlikely he would fancy her! She was doomed to be scarred for life, and she could have been on her way out of this stinking hell-hole of a country!She did not regret her choice. Giving herself up was at least a step in the right direction along a very long road that might lead to redemption. She suspected that the sacrifice of her own life might be required to complete the journey. She was not afraid to die. Lilly had come to see that a life's worth was not to measured by its length but by the way it was lived.Her legs were chained together at the ankle. No clothing was given her and she was glad of this because her back was terribly sore and she doubted she could bear for it to be touched by even the lightest garment. She would have been happy for her womanhood to be covered, though. But this was unlikely ever again.Outside the prison she was made to get on an open truck and was driven slowly. But I did not know what to do about it. I dated boys because all the other girls did. That’s what girls were expected to do. I probably should not tell you this, but I even let a couple of them get to second base.”Beth seemed to relax a little, “Oh, Mom, that’s so funny to think of you with a guy.”“Then you are going to think this is hilarious. In college, I slept with several men and had some very satisfying sex with them before I was able to admit that I was truly gay. Yes, the sex with the guys was good, but that’s all it was, just sex. When I finally took the plunge and let one of the girls I knew was gay seduce me, I learned the difference between sex with men and sex with a woman. When I was with a man, once we had fulfilled the primary purpose of going to bed together, I was ready to go home. With women, I did not want to go home. I wanted to stay and just cuddle and enjoy the closeness of her. I could enjoy sex with men, but I could not fall in love with them. But I can very.
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